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It’s finally time for the Iron Bowl, the time of year when the state of Alabama splits in two and the rest of the world tunes in ready to watch the chaos. This year there’s plenty of reason to expect the unexpected. Bama’s Mac Jones will be making the biggest start of his life with a possible Playoff spot on the line, and if you know Gus Malzahn, you know he has something up his sleeveless sweater vest to spring on the Bama defense.
But who should you root for if you’re an impartial observer? We made it easy for you with this list of 20 reasons why it’s better to be an Alabama fan than an Auburn fan. Don’t worry Auburn fans, your list is right here.
1. You’re never little brother
Auburn, on the other hand, knows a thing or two about being a little brother.
2. Winning a lot of championships is better than winning just a few
Other people can joke about the old, disputed championships all they want. Bama still has more championships than some schools have bowl wins.
3. Atlanta is a second home
Bama fans can pretty much purchase a winter vacation home in Atlanta. It’ll be more than worth the investment … except for this year.
4. The two greatest coaches ever coached at your school
Nick Saban and the Bear … a lot better sounding than Gus Malzahn and Tommy Tuberville.
5. You don’t have to play Alabama every year
The SEC West is so tough because teams have to play you every year.
6. You get to beat up on Tennessee every year
And it never gets old.
7. You have the best receivers in the country
Stay on your toes because any simple slant can turn into an 80-yard touchdown.
8. People leave the NFL to coach at Bama
Meanwhile, Auburn can’t even get their current coach to leave.
9. Tuscaloosa is a real city
Unlike Auburn, which is just the school, a couple of Holiday Inns, and a Waffle House.
10. You never, under any circumstance, have to wear orange
A very underappreciated blessing.
11. You don’t know what it’s like to not make it to the Playoff
What’s it like to watch 4 other teams fight for a national title? Please someone tell Bama fans; they don’t know.
12. The entire country gets mad when you win
How sweet will it be when you get in the Playoff and everyone is so, so mad.
13. You don’t have half your fan base trying to get your coach fired every offseason
It’s amazing Gus Malzahn doesn’t hate Auburn fans by now.
14. You don’t clench up every time your team attempts to throw the ball
You would too if Bo Nix was your quarterback.
15. Gus Malzahn has never made an entrance this cool
16. Nothing is better than singing along to Rammer Jammer after a big win
It’s the best cheer in sports, not even close.
17. Alabama has been good for a full century and there’s no end in sight
It’s the perks of being the greatest program in modern history.
18. You’ve absolutely dominated the Iron Bowl this decade
Auburn fans can replay the Kick-6 all they want, you can just rewatch your 8 Iron Bowl victories in the past 11 years.
19. You get to travel the country by just following your team to championship games
You not only get to watch your team win championships but explore Pasadena, New Orleans, Dallas, Miami. Meanwhile Auburn gets intimately familiar with Nashville and the Music City Bowl.
20. Everyone is just trying to be you
How many schools try to take your assistants or model their program after you? Pretty much all of them, and they still can’t beat you.
Houston lives in Atlanta and covers SEC football for Saturday Down South. You can follow him on twitter @hbarber17 or reach out at hbarber17@gmail.com
