Ad Disclosure
The annual Tiger Bowl is just around the corner, and the 2019 version has everything on the line. But if you’re a neutral fan, who should you root for in this Tigers vs. Tigers battle? Bama fans, please don’t answer.
But for everyone else, we’re here to help you out. We put together a list of 20 reasons why it’s better to be an LSU fan than an Auburn fan. Sorry Auburn fans, your list is coming soon.
1. You don’t cover your campus in toilet paper
Auburn needs toilet paper because its campus is a dump.
2. Your coach speaks a language only you and your fellow fans can speak
Coach O doesn’t have an accent, he’s just speaking in Parseltongue for LSU fans.
3. Everyone is afraid of your stadium
Nowhere in college football is more intimidating than LSU at night.
4. You get to wear purple
There aren’t too many occasions when it’s appropriate for an adult man to wear all purple, so enjoy it when you can.
5. You never have to worry about not being the best team in your state
Sorry Tulane and La-Monroe. It’s true.
6. You get the best tailgate food anywhere in the SEC
There’s no debating this.
7. You don’t get incredibly nervous every time your QB drops back to pass (anymore)
Auburn fans don’t know what this is like.
8. You know when a basketball game is officially over.
Auburn fans definitely don’t know this.
9. You can beat Florida
How did that game go for you Auburn fans?
10. You got to make Matthew McConaughey very sad
Auburn only does this to their own fans.
11. Your biggest rival is whoever you hate most at the current moment
Is it Alabama? Arkansas? A&M? Who knows, you get to hate everyone equally.
12. Leonard Fournette highlights never get old
Imagine being on the receiving end of this beatdown. Ouch.
13. Baton Rouge is an actual city
Auburn is more of a rest stop.
14. It’s only a 90 minute drive to New Orleans and the Sugar Bowl
In Alabama, you have to drive 90 minutes just to find wi-fi.
15. Your QB’s gorgeous backside
Enough said.
16. You have more 5-star cornerbacks than you know what to do with
LSU is DBU for a reason.
17. You don’t have to watch Bruce Pearl sweat through his shirt every basketball game
Maybe that’s why they need so much toilet paper.
18. No fan base can ever out-drink you
OK, maybe Wisconsin. But that’s it.
19. You don’t have to run 12 trick plays and a gimmicky offense to score points
Looking at you, Gus.
20. You get to sing Neck (even if the band won’t)
Only true LSU fans and students will know the joy of this.
Houston lives in Atlanta and covers SEC football for Saturday Down South. You can follow him on twitter @hbarber17 or reach out at hbarber17@gmail.com
