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It’s difficult to criticize something we hold dear to our hearts. But even the love of our life isn’t without his, her or its foibles.
College football isn’t immune and as the 2016 season begins, we’ll be reminded all over again what we love about the sport and of those little idiosyncrasies that send a shiver up our spine and back down again like a visceral reaction to nails — or Will Muschamp’s fist — against a chalkboard.
Here’s a list of the top 25 most annoying things in college football listed in no particular order.
1. Talk of Big 12 Expansion
Quit hemming and hawing and just do it already. A Big 12 with only 10 teams is confounding. And Big Ten? Time to call yourself the Big 14 or lose four teams. Start with Maryland.
2. College Football Playoff Games on New Year’s Eve
College Football Playoff games on New Year’s Eve. What better way to get in a fight with your spouse over your evening’s plans.
3. Icing the Kicker
There’s proof that calling a timeout to give the kicker more time to think doesn’t have much of a benefit. Time to quit delaying the inevitable and put this trend on ice.
4. Dabbing
You know you’ve jumped the shark when your dad, err, we mean Nick Saban gets in on it. Time for a new celebratory trend. Would someone please bring back the Ickey Shuffle?
Best dab from a coach goes to Nick Saban. pic.twitter.com/kgRFPQVIov
— SEC Country (@SEC_Country_) January 24, 2016
5. The Term “Football Move”
Well he didn’t make an ice hockey nor water polo move. Ballet pirouette, maybe.
6. Stadium Chants
The Georgia fan will tell you that the “Rocky Top” fight song is the most annoying thing in college football. While the Tennessee loyalist rues the Gator Chomp of the Florida faithful, who, in turn, detests the barking Georgia fan. Anyone outside of Starkville will tell you they could do without Mississippi State’s cowbells. None are worse than Oklahoma’s incessant “Boomer Sooner,” though, am I right?
Don’t worry, your team’s chant is the best.
7. This Motion
We get it, your gloves match up when placed together. I’d start to focus more on catching the ball, Oregon State.
Football gloves are in! #GoBeavs pic.twitter.com/4bkNT1XGJJ
— OSU Beaver Store (@OSUBeaverStore) July 27, 2016
8. Claimed National Titles
The SEC is guilty here of claiming national titles awarded by now-defunct associations. We’re looking in your direction, Kentucky and Ole Miss.
9. Fans Who Live Tweet Games
We’re watching. We saw it also.
10. Four-Team Playoff System
We’ve gotten a taste for a College Football Playoff system, the same way a shark gets a taste for human. Now it’s time to take our ravenous appetite for the sport and feed us an eight-team format.
11. Fans Who Yell “Heisman!”
We’re looking at you, Stanford fan. We get it, you think Christian McCaffrey should win the Heisman. Now please, with all due respect, zip it.
Fan Interrupts McCaffrey's Interview to Yell HEISMAN (Video) https://t.co/izW6Q9mWs7 pic.twitter.com/vU0CyqJnRx
— Robert Littal BSO (@BSO) January 2, 2016
12. People Who Cry That the SEC is Overrated
When your conference wins eight of the last 10 BCS/CFP titles, then we’ll talk.
13. Designer Uniform Trim
What’s with the paisley-type look, Oklahoma State? We’re here to bash each other’s brains in, not strut a fashion runway.
https://twitter.com/AthleteVids/status/705913108024467457
14. Fans with Multiple “Favorite” Teams
You’re not allowed a favorite team on each coast. Pick one and stick with it.
15. Overtime Rules
We already got the College Football Playoff that we clamored for. It’s time to amend the ridiculous overtime rules — NFL included. Let’s keep it simple. If regulation ends in a tie, we play one more full quarter of football and subsequent quarters until the game is settled.
16. Larry Culpepper
Please find a new mascot, Dr. Pepper. Perhaps go the KFC route and create an actual Doctor Pepper.
#TBT Larry Culpepper was a tad excited when he saw the @CFBPlayoff Champ Trophy at this years Goodyear Cotton Bowl!! pic.twitter.com/Uu4TnfIUCJ
— Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic (@CottonBowlGame) June 16, 2016
17. Teams Named Bulldogs, Tigers or Wildcats
Come on, Auburn. Time to switch to the “War Eagles.”
18. Clap Cadence
Of all the Urban Meyer-inspired trends to seep into college football, the clap cadence ranks fairly low on the popularity scale.
Rudolph to Sheperd for the TD right at me! Watch my story on #okstate win on @FOX23 at 11:05. @Rudolph2Mason @bshep10 pic.twitter.com/BKVjq24nh9
— Nathan Thompson (@NathanDThompson) October 4, 2015
19. Arguing Over Satellite Camps
Less sleepovers and more wins perhaps, Mr. Harbaugh?
20. You, the Fans, Apparently
Prospects at #UAALLAMERICA were asked what fan bases were the most annoying on social media, and #Florida was school mentioned the most.
— Jeremy Crabtree (@jeremycrabtree) December 28, 2015
#Hogs, #FSU, #UGA, #Michigan, #HailState, #Vols & #Aggies others mentioned by multiple recruits as being most annoying fans on social media.
— Jeremy Crabtree (@jeremycrabtree) December 29, 2015
21. Ticky-Tacky Pass Interference Calls
Need an easy 15 yards? Put the ball in the air and have the referees bail you out courtesy of over-sensitive pass interference rules. Plus, why isn’t P.I. in college football a spot foul?
22. Lack of Band Coverage
If the SEC wants to expand its fan base, they should insist that networks start showing the bands at halftime, rather than the mindless chatter of the experts talking heads.
23. Jim Harbaugh, According to Paul Finebaum
If Paul Finebaum says the Michigan coach is annoying, then the brash Wolverines coach is officially annoying.
Paul Finebaum: Jim Harbaugh is the most annoying person in college football https://t.co/4ssjzAIgCi
— College Football (@CFB) April 13, 2016
24. Four-Hour Games
They should be five hours so we get even more college football.
25. Preseason Lists and Prognostications
Everyone’s an expert these days. Seriously, Arkansas to win the SEC West?
Chris Wuensch is a contributing writer for Saturday Down South. He covers South Carolina and Tennessee.