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Each week, I’ll be taking a coach to the bar. Not literally, although that would be way more cool. Whether they had a great game, a terrible game, or I just want to hang out with that coach for no real reason. Basically there is no metric here, I just get to choose, so deal with it.
This week’s bar buddy: Steve Spurrier
Coach Spurrier had a rough couple of weeks, including a tough win against Vanderbilt, and a decidedly more tough week against Missouri, which of course was a loss. In the midst of those two games, he called his team embarrassing, then got drilled on the sidelines by Maty Mauk.
MD: Hey, coach. Thanks for meeting me, I know these past few weeks have been a little rough.
SS: Nah, not really, I’ve played pretty well, almost broke par today.
MD: Well, I’m glad you’ve had some time for golf in the midst of some pretty questionable play recently.
SS: Golf will always be my number one priority. That and providing the media with good sound bites.
MD: You certainly do that. Speaking of sound bites, what was the deal with the whole “embarrassing” rant? That can’t go over well in the locker room.
SS: You know me, I just start talking and can’t help myself. People always thought it was interesting, so I just kinda keep doing it. I never really think about the repercussions of what I say.
MD: It definitely seems that way. Do you think you lost some of the locker room after calling your player embarrassing? I can’t imagine they appreciated that.
SS: Maybe. Hell, I don’t know. I’ve sorta started to check out anyway. This whole coaching thing takes up so much of my time. If everyone would just be cool with me winning 7 or 8 games a year, that would be so much better for me.
MD: Why do you say that, don’t you want to compete for championships on a yearly basis?
SS: Not really, I mean, maybe if I could get into some fun senior amateur tournaments that would be nice.
MD: I was talking about football championships.
SS: Oh, heck, no. I don’t think so. That requires so much effort on a year round basis, I’m already playing golf 3 times a week, so I can’t take any more time away from the course.
MD: Wait, so three times a week is less than normal?
SS: Yeah, I try and get out to hit balls at least every day.
MD: Why not take that time to call some recruits, draw up new plays, game plan, etc?
SS: I am who I am, I mean, I’ve got this “offensive genius” moniker, so I can just sit back on that for a little while longer, get one or two nice players in every year, and just kind of coast.
MD: I feel like the Gamecock nation wouldn’t like hearing you say that.
SS: Well apparently they aren’t liking much of what I am saying this year anyway. Who knows, maybe I call it a year after goign 6-6 this season anyway. I’ve only got so many years left to golf.
MD: Do you really think you’ll go 6-6? Also, you seem to be exponentially more concerned with your golf game than coaching.
SS: Hell, son, it’s been that way for years.
MD: Okay, well, before I let you go, can you tell me a little about your run-in with Maty Mauk on the sidelines?
SS: Yeah that punk tried to take me out. I gave him a pretty good death stare though to let him know I had something coming for him.
MD: I saw that. Very intense look. So you think it was intentional?
SS: Absolutely, he’s proven he can move a little bit, so that elbow in the back was a message.
MD: What sort of message?
SS: I’m not sure, but I’ll give him a few barbs in the media the rest of this year.
MD: That seems pretty petty, and I don’t think it will accomplish much.
SS: Do any of my barbs ever accomplish much?
MD: Good point. Well coach, enjoy that Coors, hope you play well for your second 18 today.
SS: Thank you, son. I’ll have Jerri send you some cookies.
Worked for the internet in Los Angeles before being lured back to Florida by SEC football and the promise of a bourbon bar. When he's not internetting or watching football, he's probably out giving himself 4-footers on the golf course.
