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No Steve Spurrier, so who is new quote machine at SEC Media Days?
By John Crist
Published:
After my career took me from the Chicago Bears beat to the Florida State beat, now all I cover is the SEC.
Unfortunately, I picked the wrong season to make my debut in Hoover, Ala., for Media Days. Steve Spurrier, the most quote-friendly face in college football — let alone the conference — will not be in attendance next week.
A simple Google search can point you in the direction of numerous list-style stories that count down the Head Ball Coach’s most memorable one-liners. From the making of his legend at Florida to the twilight of his run at South Carolina, Spurrier could fill up a scribe’s notebook faster than you can spell “Citrus.”
RELATED: Steve Spurrier’s 10 rules for SEC Media Days opening statements
His replacement, Will Muschamp, is more quotable with his sideline stares than his press-conference quips.
Every credentialed publication in attendance will have a tougher time coming up with a content schedule as a result. The “Spurrier saying Spurrier things” column is gone for good. Writers and readers suffer alike.
Luckily, the league has a few contenders ready to step in and be the primary attraction at the podium. The aforementioned Muschamp is one of three newcomers, although he does have four appearances to his name from his tenure in Gainesville. Kirby Smart and Barry Odom, both first-time head coaches, need some experience.
Brutally honest, bat$#!+ crazy — just be entertaining. No intern wants to transcribe endless coach speak.
Now, on to the candidates …
Nick Saban
Typical on game day: “We certainly don’t want our players to be satisfied with where they are. They need to understand there’s always a bigger challenge out there we need to get ready for.”
Queued-up cliché: “What happened yesterday is history. What happens tomorrow is a mystery. What we do today makes a difference — the precious present moment.”
Sneaky sense of humor: “I just want everybody to know I’m not conservative. I want to throw the ball all the time.”
The main attraction at Media Days from a fan perspective, Saban sycophants flood the hotel when he speaks.
With the Crimson Tide having captured four national championships in seven years — and the preseason No. 1 again in myriad publications — Saban commands attention when at the podium. All business, all the time.
Nevertheless, despite his team’s crazy success on the field, most media members will tell you he’s not much fun to cover. Old-school coaches like Spurrier enjoy their time with reporters, both on and off the record. Saban, on the other hand, treats the credentialed like nothing more than a necessary nuisance.
The best we can hope for is Saban going off on another one of his unprompted rants. My guess is satellite camps. But why does he have to look at print, radio and TV personalities with such disdain while doing so?
Saban may not have invented the new-school approach of treating media like the enemy, but he perfected it.
Les Miles
Typical on game day: “Certainly, we gained a lot of yards. But fumbles and penalties, those two things just drive coaches crazy.”
Queued-up cliché: “We want to win it all. But right now, the task at hand is developing our football team and making up a good, solid football team.”
Sneaky sense of humor: “When I wake up in the morning and I turn that film on, it’s like reading a book. And it’s exciting. I don’t read books, but if I read books, it would be like reading a book.”
Unlike Saban, who has all the cuddliness of a porcupine with pink eye, Miles acts like your lovable uncle.
When an event like Senior Day rolls around, Miles is a lead-pipe lock to show some genuine emotion — both on the field before the game and at the presser afterward. Fans want to cheer for human beings, not robots.
His sheer goofiness is a feather in his cap, too. We’re talking about a guy that literally grazes on grass prior to kickoff. Miles spent a few unsolicited minutes at Media Days in 2015 talking about how soccer had taken over the country that summer. The former Michigan man has certainly embraced his inner good-ole boy.
However, make no mistake about it. Miles can be a stone-cold killer when necessary. The failed coup d’état at LSU last year was evidence of that. All the while, he answered every question clearly and confidently.
His seat may be warmer now than a season ago, but Miles will be no less comfortable with cameras rolling.
Bret Bielema
Typical on game day: “Those guys have been in the program now for two years, basically. They’re not young anymore. We expect them to continue to develop. Just to be able to get their hands on the ball and make those plays speaks volumes about their ability to be playmakers.”
Queued-up cliché: “It’s exciting because we’re going to be able to go out on the field and do what we like to do. Just as much as the players love to get out there and play, coaches do as well. It’s an exciting time, and we can’t wait to get out there.”
Sneaky sense of humor: “He’s got an incredible, incredible ass.”
Saban may be the biggest winner. Miles is the most colorful character. But Bielema is the best interview.
Too many 21st-century coaches have embraced the Bill Belichick approach when it comes to dealing with the media. Bielema has too much personality to keep it hidden, though. You want to have a beer with this guy.
In front of a microphone, he has a smashmouth style reminiscent of the offense he chooses to employ. He’s the one who publicly lobbied for an annual SEC/Big Ten football challenge. When Michigan canceled its upcoming home-and-home with the Hogs, Bielema didn’t shy away from taking a pointed shot at Jim Harbaugh.
This is the Belichickian era when it comes to dealing with reporters: talk as little as possible about as little as possible. Bielema, ever the contrarian, stars in his own behind-the-curtain web series. Ballsy.
With Spurrier now retired, Bielema is the new can’t-miss press conference in Hoover. My notebook is ready.
John Crist is the senior writer for Saturday Down South. You can send him an e-mail directly at jcrist@saturdaydownsouth.com or follow him on Twitter @SaturdayJC.
John Crist is an award-winning contributor to Saturday Down South.
