Ad Disclosure
Wasson: Goalposts are meant to be torn down, finally, at Vanderbilt
By David Wasson
Published:
The following is an exclusive, first-metal interview with the Commodore Stadium goalpost:
“Anyone got a squeegee? Absorbent towel, perhaps?
“Us goalposts are built to see just about everything a football game can throw – and kick – at us. Painted yellow steel beckoning to the sky, we are the veritable targets that never move on the field no matter how much pundits metaphorically try in the name of making their argument stick.
“Me? Well, I’ve seen a lot here at Vanderbilt. Mainly losing by the home squad, group after group of well-meaning young men walking under me each summer thinking they are going to shock the world in the name of the mighty Commodores.
“They chant their chants and rally under me before kickoffs to give it the ol’ college try. What do I do? Stand here and watch teams of actual SEC talent come in wearing their fancy whites and beat the living snot out of our boys. I’ve seen it year after year after year.
“And that’s why I have stayed right here – anchored down – unmoving and unwavering in the face of football futility from the home team.
“Until Saturday.
“Something truly remarkable happened between me and my pal 120 yards away in the south end zone Saturday – something these old eyes never thought they would witness. Our Commodores got it done against what folks across this land call the No. 1 team in America.
“Our boys beat Alabama. And when it was over, do you think I minded when students clambered on top of me and shook me and tore me down?
“Heck no.
“Do you think I cared that I was forcefully disassembled and toted, thousands of jubilant hands on me and even some well-lubricated underclassmen riding me while being hauled toward downtown Nashville?
“Heck no.
“I’ve legit dreamt of this moment, hearing about how my confreres in Oxford, Knoxville and Columbia have all knelt to the storm of jubilation from their home teams beating the Crimson Tide. Heck, even the kids in Fayetteville got them some metal Saturday night, and all they did was upset No. 4 Tennessee.
“They got all the fun, while all I got was this lousy football team.
Imagine looking out of your high rise Nashville condo and seeing Vandy’s goalposts marching down Broadway… pic.twitter.com/M5ikdjwnbk
— Alan (@smokiesvol) October 6, 2024
“You see, us goalposts aren’t just sentries of football fields or targets of kicks worth both 1 and 3 points. No, no, no. We are tangible proof that celebration of knocking off the nation’s No. 1 is worth both the fine the SEC will toss Vandy’s way and the cost of replacing me.
“You’re supposed to tear us down. You want to tear us down.
“But here at Vanderbilt, me and my pal down there in the other end zone have been relegated to watching footballs sail through, beside and even doink against our uprights for all eternity. Every now and then, the Commodores down there tempt us with a quarter or even a half of false hope against a team like Alabama. But ultimately, our half-empty stadium fully vacates … and I am left here waving my twin streamers in the dark.
“Until Saturday.
“Those kids didn’t quite know what to do at first after our boys knocked off the Tide and their new coach – who certainly isn’t like their shorter old one and has an eternity to go before being mentioned in the same breath with that Bear fellow who would gregariously lean against me before games.
“Security didn’t know what to do either, because who could even remember the last time those kids thought about scaling down from the bleachers to celebrate – no less come my way with the purest of celebratory intentions?
“But who really predicted that our quarterback, Diego Pavia, would morph into Johnny Unitas out there against the Tide? Who really predicted that Clark Lea, our coach who once wore the black and gold as one of those players who lost game after game underneath me, would coach his absolute heart out for 60 minutes and make believers out of Commodore Nation?
“And who really predicted that I would be toted, piece by glorious piece, through the streets of downtown Nashville toward the Cumberland River? It’s not like these Vanderbilt scholars studied this time-honored tradition while prepping for midterms … but there they were, bumping past bachelorette parties and new-fangled honkytonks on Broadway to joyfully deposit me in the river.
“I got fished out a couple hours later by the Nashville Fire Department and am poised to be cut into pieces to sell – ideally to pay the SEC fine that’s coming due to all those kids dancing on the turf. That is just fine with me. It is my pleasure to become a thousand pieces of mounted metalwork on walls across Tennessee in remembrance of this day.
“A new goalpost is coming for Vanderbilt, finally after all these years. Because when you knock off No. 1 like our mighty Commodores finally did after 60 unsuccessful times, you have no problem cutting the check for a new version of me.”
An APSE national award-winning writer and editor, David Wasson has almost four decades of experience in the print journalism business in Florida and Alabama. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times and several national magazines and websites. He also hosts Gulfshore Sports with David Wasson, weekdays from 3-5 pm across Southwest Florida and on FoxSportsFM.com. His Twitter handle: @JustDWasson.
